Everyone searches for the feeling of happiness. We are all working on our personal goals in the hope of becoming one. It doesn’t matter if you are a workaholic or a spiritual seeker: happiness is what we want. But what exactly is happiness? And what is the difference between superficial, temporary happiness and profound, lasting happiness?
Happiness: Is there anyone who is not looking for it? And nothing is harder to find – at least to experience lasting happiness. If it were easy, everyone would be happy. And one look around us shows us that this is not the case.
Most of us experience happy moments, but then lose it again. Happiness often turns out to be fleeting – and we never fully figure out how to hold it. To know where we can find real happiness, we must first know where we will not find it.
1.Real happiness is not about achieving a goal.
You probably think: “If I achieve that, then I’m really happy.” One is looking for a career and the other for a life partner. Whatever you are looking for, assume that this is not going to make you happy. You will, however, experience a temporary feeling of happiness when you reach your goal. Afterwards, a new goal comes of course: an even better career or even nicer life partner. And then you start looking again …
2.Happiness is a process: it is in every moment that you are on your way to your goal, not just in the final destination.
Happiness is not in the right circumstances, it is in the way you deal with the circumstances that cross your path.
Happiness has nothing to do with things, possessions or money. It doesn’t have to do with what you have – it has everything to do with feeling about what you have.
Okay, now that we’ve looked briefly at where you can’t find happiness, the logical question is: where is it? The search for Easter eggs may be fun, but ultimately you want to find them, don’t you?
3.Happiness is in yourself.
Point! If you remember nothing about this article, then at least remember that happiness is always in yourself. Not in situations, not in goals, not in other people, not in possessions. You find happiness in the last place you look for it: yourself. By yourself I do not mean your brain, because your brain is never completely satisfied. Happiness is a feeling that you would automatically experience if you stopped thinking that you were not happy.
4.Happiness is in this moment.
Happiness is never in the future or past, because the future and past is the domain of your brain – and happiness is not in your brain. What remains then? This moment, with everything you experience. Happiness is in the now, there is no past happiness, still future happiness. You experience it now – or you don’t experience it now.
Happiness is always here and now, never later and there. Pay attention, because before you know it, you will miss it. But rest assured, you can always find it where it has always been: here and now.
5.Happiness is acceptance.
Accident is the result of resistance to reality. Resistance never makes you happy, because you shoot in your head and you get further removed. Happiness is in the now, remember? So it’s in the acceptance of yourself and the acceptance of your life – right now. Happiness is accepting the good while you continue to grow in the direction that suits you even better.
Happiness is in the acceptance of reality. Misfortune is in the denial thereof.
I realize that much of what I write here is not that easy to really experience. There is a big difference between knowing something and doing something with what you know. Rest assured, the Happy Being Happy Staying e-course helps you with this. With each lesson you get more insight into what makes you happy. And in every lesson you discover questions and exercises that help you to apply this in your daily life.
6.Real happiness is not in the circumstances.
Happy and unhappy people face the same situations. Life gives us many beautiful things, but also setbacks. Do happy people only prosper and non-happy people only deep troughs? No. The challenge is not to be happy if everything goes well, that’s easy. The challenge is to be happy despite and during setbacks and challenges.
7.Real happiness is not in possessions.
This is a pitfall where many fall for: “If only I had more, I would feel better.” I can tell you from personal experience that the people who have the most are not automatically the happiest. Moreover, when does it stop? It is in the human mind to want more and more.